G.I. JOE: Retaliation (2013) Movie Review

GI Joe PosterG.I. JOE:  Retaliation

  • Rating – PG-13
  • March 2013
  • Director – Jon M. Chu
  • Dwayne Johnson – Roadblock
  • Channing Tatum – Duke
  • Adrianne Palicki – Lady Jaye
  • Ray Park – Snake Eyes
  • Byung-hun Lee – Storm Shadow
World Ain’t Going to Save Itself

I remember having epic battles in my parent’s living room with all G.I. JOE toys. All you can hear is an 6 year old yelling “pew, pew, pew” and crashing noises. Oh, I’m doing that right now.  No wonder my mom is telling me go into the basement.  Well, this is the sequel to Rise of the Cobra. Originally, scheduled for a 2012 summer release, got postponed for reshoots. For most of you, we all know what G.I. JOE is. For those of you who don’t, it’s based on a 80s cartoon and toy line by Hasbro, where G.I. JOE the good guys fight Cobra, the bad guys.  You’re welcome.  Let’s see if the Rock has what it takes to lead the JOEs to victory.

Joe's vehicle

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

We learn that Cobra Commander (Bracey) and Destro has been captured by the JOEs and are being imprisoned at some disclosed location.  Zartan (Vosloo), Storm Shadow (Lee), and Fire Fly (Stevenson) are still at large.   No word on these JOEs from the first movie, but are missing in this one:  Scarlett, Heavy Duty, General Hawk, Breaker, and Rip Cord.

Coming back from a successful mission the JOEs except Snake Eyes is sent to steal nuclear warheads.  Awaiting extraction after retrieving the warheads, the JOEs are suddenly attacked by a military strike.  The surviving JOEs, Road Block (Dwayne Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), and try to figure out who ordered the strike.

Meanwhile the President is having a press conference saying the JOEs have betrayed people and have been eliminated. The President goes down to a well protected basement and it is revealed that the real President is actually imprisoned.  The imposter is Zartan (Arnold Vosloo).  He asks the President the where about of the Cobra Commander (Luke Bracey) and Destro are.

Snake Eyes (Ray Park) on his own personal mission is sent to capture Storm Shadow by the leader of the Arashikage clan (RZA).  Storm Shadow must pay for his crime of slaying the Hard Master.  Snake Eyes takes Storm Shadow’s cousin Jinx (Elodie Yung) with him deep in the snow filled mountains.

What will the JOEs do now, since they are branded as traitors?  Will Snake Eyes and Jinx be able to capture Storm Shadow?  What is Zartan’s endgame?

Snake Eyes Stand Off

Yeah That’ll Work

I’m not going into too much in analyzing this movie.  G.I. JOE:  Retaliation knows what it is and delivers.  It’s a loud big budget movie with lots of action, explosions, and one liners.  There are some creative scenes, especially when Snake Eyes and Jinx fight ninjas along side a mountain.

I think fans of the franchise would enjoy this movie for what it is.  There’s a lot of stuff they could pick at of what they did wrong or are missing, but I think most fans will be disappointed at the lack of vehicle warfare in this movie.  There’s a little 5 minute scene towards the end, but it didn’t really satisfy.  It seemed like a last minute addition.

Road Block's Big Gun

Welcome to the JOEs

It is what it is.  I thought this was much better the Rise of the Cobra, basically because Retaliation cut out everything and just focused on the action.  They didn’t try to put any emotion or story.  There was a point A and they had to get to point B.  The film makers got to their destination by just filling it with a fun ride of explosions, sword fighting, shooting, and some gun kata (Equilibrium reference).  Don’t forget to turn off your brain.

Random Info I got from this File:
  • Don’t trust the President
  • A normal house can be fitted to supply a small army
  • If you see a firefly, run
Other Files to check:
  • A-Team
  • Invisible Target
  • G.I. JOE:  Rise of Cobra
File Status:7 out of 10


Roach on EmailRoach on FacebookRoach on Twitter
Graphic designer by day, and movie blogger whenever I can. Been watching films in the 80s and never lost the love for it. Started Movie Case Files in 2012, and kept writing random reviews ever since. Besides movies, I like watching UFC, collecting retro video games, spending time with the wife, and bacon.

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